The 3rd Best Beer I Had This Year

Deschutes Brewery is a respectable outfit based in Central Oregon. They produce a steady and readily available line of eminently drinkable beers, both seasonal and year round.

But when they go big, they go really big. I'm not even talking about the unique Bond Series line. I'm talking about the end-all-be-all.

The Abyss - Deschutes Brewery (Bend, OR)

By all rights, The Abyss could be number one on this list. It's won seven major brewing awards. It's a thick tar of hops, coffee, chocolate, oak and malt. It's a beautiful beer to pour, spilling clean black into the widest-mouthed wine glass you can find. It's richer than Warren Buffet, thicker than Kimbo Slice, and nearly as rare as a Honus Wagner tobacco card.

I've never seen a beer with more buzz. On it's 2007 release, some regions of the US didn't even receive shipments, and Oregon retailers hoarded like it was Y2K. Employees at my store tried buying cases, as single bottles were selling north of $30 on eBay, but our beer steward kept the shipments in a locked room, and only sold two bottles at a time to customers who requested the beer outright.

Fortunately, I worked there and the beer stewards respected me. I came away with six bottles overall, a few of which I've consumed with friends (I've never had a full bottle by myself), and a few of which are aging in my friend's cellar. The aging is important...as good as The Abyss is now, it's supposed to reach it's peak in five years.

The Abyss's strength lies in its novelty, richness and accessibility. It's very similar to the 5th beer on our list, Oak Aged Yeti, but where Yeti drops off toward the end, The Abyss keeps melting, dripping taste after taste onto your tongue. Where most beers of that caliber would turn off your run-of-the-mill beer swiller, The Abyss has a broad appeal. It's sort of like The Beatles of beer.

One day at the store, a nice older lady asked my friend and I if we were familiar with The Abyss. She told us how she didn't drink beer besides the occasional Budweiser, but she'd had this beer that was so delicious. She described it as an alcoholic mocha.

And even though there were still cases of the stuff downstairs, and we could've easily had a manager unlock the room, we told her we'd run out weeks before. A beer like this should not be wasted, we told ourselves with our prominent noses upturned.

Outside of eBay and collectors, you're unlikely to find The Abyss. Fortunately, the brewery crafts a new batch each year. Unfortunately, the 2007 edition is regarded as one of the best.